“Welcome to the City East Intimacy Inn,” the Blackscale woman at the front desk said. “Do you have a reservation?”

“Nah, but I have a loyalty disk,” I practically whispered. I glanced back at Thaya, then I huffed at my luck. Thank The Universe she hadn’t caught me trying to save a few quartz. She was too busy wandering the lobby, her pretty grey eyes scanning everything in sight. Which was fair. The Intimacy Inn did have some weird decor.

I turned back to face the front desk. The woman working there stared back at me. Then I remembered she was waiting for my loyalty disk. I dug into the inner pocket of my silk jacket like I was mining for quartz. After a few seconds of me fumbling, she let out a sigh. I glanced at her name tag.

“Sorry, Dani. Swear on the stars it is in here!” I said. Dani didn’t reply. She just kept on staring at me. Silently judging. “Found it!” I breathed in relief, handing over the reflective blue disk. “It’s my, uh, fourth time,” I muttered.

Dani sighed again. “Thank you for your patronage,” she said, but like she was reading off a script. “Your fourth visit entitles you to half off tonight’s stay.” She took my loyalty disk and pointed to the palm scanner. “Total cost including the discount will be 800 quartz.”

“Deep,” I said, slapping my palm on the scanner like it owed me something.

The transaction chimed complete. Dani handed back the loyalty disk, and I slid it into my jacket. “You’re booked into Suite forty-seven,” she said. “Fourth floor, seventh door on the right. Control pad’s next to the bed if you want in-room service. You may occupy the suite until the 38th hour tomorrow.”

“Got it,” I nodded, giving a half-chuckle. “Like I said, this ain’t my first time!”

Dani didn’t even blink. “Keep ahold of that loyalty disk,” she eventually said, her eyes dropping to a tabletop tablet. “You get a free night on your eighth visit.”

“Eighth visit?” I tried to laugh, scratching the back of my head. “At that point, a free stay’s the least you guys could do!”

She raised a brow without looking up. A long silence followed while she tapped and swiped on the tablet. I waited. And waited. Then, she slid the room disk across the marble counter. I leaned in to grab it.

“So I just, go ahead?”

“Mmm hmm,” Dani confirmed.

“Alright then! Appreciate it,” I said, backing away.

I called over to Thaya. She twirled my way — her grey eyes, locked onto my grey eyes. I held out a hand and she skipped over to grab it. Her small palm fit inside mine as I led her to the mirrored elevator. She pushed the button, and I took a deep breath as the display above the doors began counting down.

The numbers kinda looked like a timer. Which tracked. This part of dating always hit the same. The last lap. The final hurdle. Here I was again. Palms sweaty, with still a mile to go. I hated getting nervous, but let’s be real — give a guy a few hours to prove himself, and the pressure’s sure to pile on.

It was my fourth try since turning adult. It sucked, because I didn’t feel any closer to finding my Soulmate. And I’d tried everything. I dated nice women, like my Ma advised. I treated every potential with kindness, like my old man had drilled into me. I did my best to be deep, and confident, like my friend Teo — that man caught female attention without even trying! I even ran a few of my mate Grayson’s so-called ‘signature tactics’.

But it didn’t matter. I’d sprint across the finish line, and fall on my face. Every time. I wasn’t sure why, or how, The Universe made its judgments. Ma said The Universe can read your innermost thoughts. She said it knows us better than we know ourselves, that it only gives us what we believe we deserve. I believed I’d be lucky to have any of the women I tested glow with me. Apparently, none of them felt the same.

The countdown hit ‘G’. Ground floor. Although, it felt more like ‘Get ready, set, go’. I stepped aside for Thaya as the elevator doors slid open, like a proper gentleman, and my manners earned me a small smile from her pink lips. When I followed her in, I caught a glimpse of my goofy grin in the mirrored walls and tried to tone it down. Clearing my throat, I reached for the fourth-floor button.

“Oops!” I blurted, nearly jamming her fingers when she also reached. “Sorry, Thaya!”

“No, Dahved! I am the one getting ahead of themselves,” she laughed, giving me the cutest one-shouldered shrug I had ever seen.

“Still, I’m real sorry,” I said, pressing the button. “Nearly crushed your hand! Good thing you’ve got quick reflexes!”

“True!” she giggled. “Though I assumed bartenders would have a lighter touch?”

“Not this one!” I snickered. Then immediately regretted it. My brain caught up with my mouth half a second too late. Using a tactic my mate Grayson taught me, I peeked at the mirrored wall to sneak a glance at Thaya’s reaction. Her expression was totally neutral.

“You have visited this establishment before?” Thaya suddenly asked.

“Who — me? Er, yeah!” I admitted, taken by surprise. “Couple times, actually. Sorry, I should’ve mentioned that. I know not everyone is keen on Intimacy Inns.”

“There is more than one?” she asked, just as the elevator chimed and slid open.

I headed out into the funky-carpeted hallway first, checking the door numbers left and right, before I took off down the left. “Yeah, but I only know of one other on the west side,” I called over my shoulder; “it’s really swanky, they don’t do nightly rentals.”

I stopped outside suite seven and held the room disk up to the scanner. A buzzing noise rung. Swoosh. The door slid open. Thaya caught up to me as our eyes met. I bowed to her at the threshold, gave a little hand flourish, and she giggled at me before stepping inside.

“My stars,” she said as she looked around.

The automatic lights flicked on as the door slid shut behind us. “Yeah it’s, kinda bare in here,” I admitted, watching her wander the sterile white room. “All the suites look like this,” I explained, pointing to the doors on either side of the room. “Bathroom to the left, bathroom to the right. Both have a mirror, a toilet. One has a tub, the other a shower—”

“Why two bathrooms?” she asked, her sweet voice all soft and curious.

“It’s so we can each, well — get ready,” I said, watching her as she peeked inside.

“Why not get ready together?” she countered, glancing back at me with that subtle little smile. “Or am I getting ahead of myself again?”

My mouth went dry. “Er, I-I guess some Korainians do that,” I started to say, the thought of sharing a bathroom, of bathing with her, flashing in my mind. “It’s just nice to have the option, either way,” I managed to croak, barely holding it together.

Thaya sighed, lifted her chin a little, and turned her head back into the bathroom. “Seems a waste of water,” she said, gripping the handle and twisting to face me as she slid the door shut. “Though, drought is hardly a concern on an island.”

“Er — yeah, totally,” I nodded.

Thaya smiled at me. A little less cute this time, a lot more confident. Her pink lips, lifted in that way, distracted me. Got me thinking. The thoughts held me so long I didn’t even register her moving across the room until she dropped onto the waterbed.

“So, Dahved,” she began, my eyebrows lifting as she kicked off her heels and let them drop to the floor. She scooted to the centre of the linen, positioning herself gracefully. “Enlighten me as to how these surroundings typically inspire intimacy? Because, to my eyes, it all seems rather — clinical.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda true!” I said, kicking off my shoes as well. I sat at the edge of the bed, trying to keep it casual. “It’s kinda better this way though, because when you think about how many Korainians have probably—”

I cut myself off. Like I’d hit mute on a programming box. Stars help me, only The Universe knew why I had just brought that up. Who in their right mind reminded someone, seconds away from Soulmate testing, that this was the same room hundreds of others had used for the exact same thing? Obviously, this idiot.

I turned toward Thaya, already bracing myself for her reaction. She was — smiling? Not politely, either. Not out of pity. She was amused. Genuinely amused. “I don’t seem like I’ve done this before, do I?” I asked with a huff, slouching my shoulders.

“It is quite the marvel,” she giggled. “Though, I also believe it is part of your appeal.”

“I have appeal?” I said in disbelief. Before I could even blink, Thaya was on her knees, crawling across the waterbed. She closed the space between us in seconds. “Woah,” I breathed. “You’re fast.”

“I could slow down, if you prefer?” she teased, placing her hands gently on my shoulders. She rubbed in small, deliberate circles — until a sudden crack echoed up my spine. I gasped so huge, it felt like I’d released a whole eight of bartending shifts.

“My stars! Where’d you learn to do that?” I groaned, amazed by her celestial fingers.

“Here and there,” she said, her hands gliding over my shoulder blades. “One must have multiple skills in the colonies. A woman especially must undertake multiple roles. A councillor, a provider, a healer. The list goes on.”

“Are all colony women like you?” I asked, as Thaya’s laughter filled the room.

“Oh Dahved, you truly do delight!” she giggled, easing me out of my tight-fitting silk jacket as she did. I lifted my arms to help, letting her guide me further onto the bed. I leaned back, and she carefully laid my jacket aside. “I am afraid to say, Dahved, I am one of a kind,” she sighed, reclining and resting her head of blonde hair on the pillow beside mine.

“No kidding,” I whispered, closing my eyes as I leaned in.

Something hard met my tongue. I blinked. Opened my eyes. It was the tip of Thaya’s manicured nail. I stared cross-eyed at the purple nail art, confused. “Sorry, did I misread something?” I asked, nervous. “Because I thought you wanted to—”

“Oh, I entirely do,” Thaya replied, brightly. “Though I find conversation a necessary precursor to such an occasion. Wouldn’t you agree?”

It took a second for me to switch gears. “Er, yeah! Sure!” I nodded.

“Perfect!” she smiled, sitting up and gesturing for me to do the same.

“Alright, then — what do you want to talk about?” I said, pulling myself up and leaning against the headboard. Thaya glanced around the room, and I took the opportunity to let out a big huff. We still had a while to go, it seemed. Which actually suited me. I preferred it when the timer slowed down. Tick. Tick. T-i-c-k.

“How did you become a regular patron of this Intimacy Inn?” Thaya asked, no chill.

“Woah! What?” I wheezed, feeling like I’d been lapped by the slowest kid in class. I hurried to keep up. “I guess it was, maybe — three eights after new-adulthood?”

“That soon? Very interesting,” Thaya mused, her eyes glancing over mine.

“Is it?” I muttered, wondering if I should’ve told the truth.

“Was there a particular woman you were hoping to try your luck with?”

“Er, no — I wasn’t that lucky,” I scoffed, dropping my gaze. I couldn’t make eye contact right now. It was too embarrassing, recalling how dumb I’d acted at the start of new-adulthood. “Honestly, I kinda fell behind my age-mates. Once everyone read through the Adulthood Handbook, it was like a timer went off. No one wanted to be the last to — experience it. Towards the end, it was practically just me and Teo left.”

“So, if you were not waiting for anyone, why did you hesitate?”

“I, er, dunno,” I shrugged — then paused. “Actually, I kinda do.”

“Would you share with me?”

I looked up at Thaya’s question. Her grey eyes, met my grey eyes. She smiled at me — slow. It made my heart beat like a metronome, but the beat ticked to her tempo. Like she was telling me to pace myself. The timer in my mind eased to a stop. Time seemed to wait for me, just for a little while, so I could take it all in. Take her in. I swallowed hard.

Luck never seemed to come to me, but tonight felt different. I felt lucky to be in this position. Thaya hadn’t said how many men had gotten to sit beside her on a waterbed, moments from testing their luck — but it didn’t matter. I’d never judge her for having the same countdown ticking in her head as we all did. The only thing I could do, now that I had the opportunity to prove I deserved her, was hope she wouldn’t judge me back.

A sigh escaped me as I lowered my head. “I’m warning you, it’s dumb,” I said, cringing. “The thing is, before I turned adult — I always thought I’d wait to be intimate. I get we’re supposed to dive headfirst into dating, like we’re on the clock. But I had this idea that I didn’t wanna, date around. I only wanted to date someone if I really thought they could be my Soulmate. I know it’s stupid. My friend Grayson told me I was gonna get left behind—”

“It is not stupid,” Thaya whispered.

I looked up, catching the sad smile she’d tried to keep for herself. When she saw me notice, she quickly tucked her sadness away. “So then what happened?” she asked, back to being cute and playful.

“You’ve got the cutest face,” I thought aloud — shocked, when I realised I’d said it.

Thaya looked away and hid behind her shoulder, just for a second. When she turned towards me again her cheeks were pinker. Flushed. I actually got her to blush. “While the sentiment is appreciated, you are not going to distract me from my interrogations,” she teased, a sweet grin overpowering her smile.

“Wow,” I said again, totally lost in that grin.

“Dahved!” she replied, playfully backhanding my arm.

I tensed my bicep just before her palm landed. Thwack. A flash of impressed surprise crossed her face. She lifted her hand from me and brought it back into herself. Into her chest. Tick. Tick. The timer took off again.

“Do you really wanna know what happened next?” I asked, feeling impatient.

“I would rather not rush, so yes,” she replied.

My head started shaking without being told. A huge smirk started growing on my face that I couldn’t stop. Now I was the one turning away, hiding my face. Head hot, I hurried on talking just to distract myself from everything Thaya had me imagining. “Alright, alright — I’ll answer all your questions. From the beginning. So, you know my friend Teo?”

“Of course,” Thaya answered. “We only just attended his family cookout.”

I turned to face her again, and there it was. Her grin was back. Matching her pace, I went on with the story. “Teo and I have been mates since early schooling. We know each other pretty well. So when we turned adult, that bond kinda made us like — test bros.”

“Test bros?” Thaya repeated, shifting closer. “What on Uji are, test bros?”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like,” I said, using my turn to speak as an excuse to edge closer too. “Teo and I tried out a lot of things for the first time, at the same time. We hit up every aqua club, tried every alcoholic beverage, vaped all kinds of vapour — side by side. It’s actually smart to have someone around who knows what you’re usually like when you try a new thing. Keeps stuff from going overboard, you know?”

“That sounds surprisingly methodical,” Thaya nodded, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her cute ears. I wanted to kiss those ears.

“You sound surprised I can think logically!” I made myself laugh, using the moment to shift more her way. “Teo and I are logical guys, believe it or not. That’s why we didn’t rush into the whole ‘don’t be the last to test your luck’ thing. Like I said, back then I wanted to wait until it was someone I really liked. And Teo, well, that poor fish was planning on waiting for Nykia—”

“Nykia?” Thaya cut in. “Nykia from the cookout?”

“Er — um, yeah,” I stuttered, unprepared for that burst of intensity. I scratched the back of my head as I tried to remember our conversation from just a few hours ago. “At the cookout, I think she said you two met on the night of your Maturity Ball—”

“Yes,” Thaya snapped. “We met briefly. I do not know her well.”

Like a hurdle I hadn’t seen coming, Thaya’s tone knocked me off balance. She seemed, agitated. For some reason, mentioning Nykia had thrown us off our rhythm. I didn’t care why. The most important thing to me was getting us back on track.

“Deep,” I shrugged, hurdling on. I planted my hand on the bedspread and started inching my fingers closer to hers. “Like I was saying, Teo didn’t want to rush into anything because he was waiting. And since I didn’t have anyone in mind, I figured I’d hold off too. We almost made a pact, now that I think of it. But it didn’t last. Which was my fault.”

“Desires got the better of you?” Thaya quipped, back to her confident grin.

“No, actually,” I said, as my pinky hooked around hers. “It was because we kept hearing about intimacy from our age-mate Grayson. He made it sound like it was trickier than the handbook let on.”

“Oh really!” Thaya gasped, all sarcastic and dramatic. She tilted her head and pressed her cheek to her shoulder. “Are you suggesting that the purely factual, government-approved description of intimacy is not accurate to the passionate endeavour? But how could that be!”

I laughed. I mean, I really laughed. Thaya shocked me — she was funny. Cute. Confident. Funny. I was starting to think I may have been more lucky than I realised. Actually, I was definitely more lucky than I realised; because when Thaya joined in with me, I saw another side of her. She flung her head back in laughter, loud and unashamed, full-bellied and delighted by her own clever comeback. What a woman.

With her hair swept back and her neck exposed, my eyes naturally went where they wanted to go. Where I wanted to go. I heard my mate Grayson in my head — like he was calling out from the sidelines coaching me. One of his tactics came to mind. The timing was perfect. I held her hand, looped it over her head, and rested my arm over her shoulder.

“See, I’m the kinda guy that worries about his friends,” I went on speaking, trying to act casual. “I got worried about my man, Teo. Dude was sitting on the sidelines while other guys were perfecting their moves. Which might not have been a big deal, if it wasn’t for who Teo was trying to test.”

“How so?” Thaya asked, her voice sounding close. Really close.

I finally looked down at her and — behold, Grayson’s tactic had proved itself top tier. Thaya had totally folded into me. My arm was around her, and her leg was over mine. Her chin was angled upwards. Her lips pointed my way. Her chest pressed against my side. I swallowed, trying to stay cool. Then I noticed her ruffled sundress. Two, maybe three buttons were undone from the top. There was no way I was that slick. But apparently, she was.

“You were saying, Dahved?” Thaya asked.

“I, er, was saying—” I tried to reply, totally distracted.

“You said Teo wanted to test someone?” Thaya prompted. “I assume, Nykia?”

“Er — oh, yeah! Teo met her through diving club, but he wasn’t the only one into her. A few of our age mates liked her too, our friend Grayson even said he’d test her if he got the chance. Then there were the guys in her own birth group. There was this one boy, a Whitescale. He was a total fish for Nykia. Major third-paddler, never left her alone. Teo called him, Needy-Tedi or something.”

“I had no idea Nykia was so — popular,” Thaya replied.

“She’s pretty, but she’s approachable. Guys like that type of girl.”

“You think so?” Thaya questioned, or more like challenged, her grey eyes glinting. I felt the pace between us shift again. Thaya’s doing. Her words had a competitive edge to them. With every moment that ticked by, I fell just a little more behind her. She was pushing me. Testing my limits. Seeing how far I could go.

“Honestly?” I replied. “Yeah, I think guys like pretty, approachable girls like Nykia.”

Thaya tipped her head. “Alright, I’m jealous,” she admitted.

“Why?” I replied. “I’m not with her. I’m with you.”

All traces of a smile drained from Thaya’s face. She sucked her teeth. Lowered her head. When she looked back up, Thaya was like a different woman. She pushed into me, raising her leg just enough to let me know she knew exactly what she was doing.

“I appreciate that response,” she said.

I nodded, fully appreciating it too.

“So you advised Teo regarding Nykia?” she restarted, setting the pace again.

“Yeah! I—I did,” I said, tripping over my tongue. “I just told him what Grayson told me — that he might get left behind. We both wanted our first time to mean something, but we agreed waiting might not be the best tactic. Truth is, we might not even be good at intimacy to begin with. Teo would only get one chance to make Nykia glow, and he’d regret it if he went in unprepared. So, we broke the pact and decided to do some testing.”

“Again, very logical,” Thaya nearly complimented.

“Are you impressed?” I asked, fishing.

“I am — impressed by how much you care for your friend,” she replied, before taking it up a notch. “So who were the unlucky women made your test subjects?”

Thaya’s reply hit me like a punch. “Ah, don’t make it sound like that!” I wheezed. “You said it yourself! We were being logical!”

“True,” she smirked. “Some find a logical view too hard to take. I prefer things hard.”

I gulped. I had to look away to gather myself. Steal a breath, before she made me lose it again. Clearly, Thaya Mashou was a different kind of Korainian. She wasn’t watching the countdown like the rest of us. She was out here running circles around us all. Enjoying herself. Which got me to admit — I wanted to enjoy myself too.

“The lucky women, then?” Thaya called, bringing me back from the edge. Refocusing my grey eyes, on her grey eyes. The look on her was one of pure satisfaction. She knew exactly what she was doing to me. She stretched her neck, flicking her hair over her shoulder, and allowed me direct sightline to everything she wanted me to see. Four buttons undone. Black lace.

My head flew back like I’d been punched in the jaw. I nearly hit the headboard. I got my feet back under me and went on offence. Now that I knew that Thaya had a few tactics of her own, all bets were off. Cute was cute. Funny and confident I could handle. But what Thaya was showing me now — uncharted territory. I needed to get my bearings.

“So you wanna know about my first try?” I announced, finally facing her again. She raised her brows, spurring me on. “Her name was Jayne. Whitescale. She had a friend too, Emilia. Blackscale. She liked Teo.”

“They sound boring.” Thaya said.

“That’s a little mean,” I couldn’t help but smirk.

“Would you prefer me pretty and approachable?”

“Is that a trick question?”

“No, not at all,” Thaya sighed, her chest lifting. “There is definitely a correct answer.”

My eyes darted to the ceiling. “Sweet, sweet stars.” I said, breathing to calm down.

“I’ll let you think about the question, Dahved,” Thaya said, adjusting against me. I didn’t dare look down. Feeling her move around was enough. “You have done admirably so far,” she said. Whispered, even. Her words wrapped around me. Snuck up behind me. Got into my head. “Take your time. No rush.”

I looked down and straight at her. “Good. I’m not the type to rush anyway,” I said, clenching. Gripping her. Pulling her into me. Thaya was in lockstep. She arched her back, lifted herself, and my hand slipped — lower. She raised her chin at me, spurring me on again, and like a well-trained racehorse my mouth took off running.

“Jayne and Emilia were dropping hints at the end of schooling, but when we all turned adult they got really obvious about it. Teo and I thought they were our safest bet, so we started clubbing with them. Every night. We even brought them back to Teo’s once — since his parents are way more relaxed than mine. But the next morning, once he’d sobered up, Teo freaked out. He kept saying, ‘What if Nykia finds out Emilia stayed at my house? What if she thinks I’m in a fling?’ Which I totally got. We needed privacy. Guaranteed. So we started looking for alternatives, and then we discovered intimacy inns.”

“And how does one discover such a place in the busy city?” Thaya enquired.

“You kinda have to stumble across it yourself,” I shrugged. “It’s an adults-only venue, like a betting house, so it’s banned from advertising. When I started working odd shifts at aqua clubs for extra quartz, I noticed that Korainians meet in clubs with intimacy on the brain all the time. You can’t just stumble back to your familial home with a random potential. Korainians must’ve been going somewhere — so I asked around. Next thing I know, I’m booking rooms at the City East Intimacy Inn for me and Jayne, and Teo and Emilia.”

“So it was you who planned it all,” Thaya smirked, accusing me.

The smirk on my own lips grew. “Yeah, I guess it was.”

Thaya let out a sound — a grunt. I blinked. I took her in one more time. The black lacy bra. The tattoos on her collarbone, on her upper thigh. The sweat on the back of her neck, wetting her hair. The small smiles and coy blushes were gone. It wasn’t that she’d changed. No, Thaya was the same woman I’d been dating for the last eight. She had been waiting. Waiting for the right time, waiting for me to clock on, before she revealed herself.

“Finish the story, Dahved,” Thaya ordered, her voice low, heavy.

“We tried our luck. We didn’t glow. I moved on to a couple more tries, and Teo stuck with Emilia to figure out his technique. And now, about a cycle later — here we are.”

“And where is here?” Thaya countered, pulling herself away.

“Now we’re both gonna try our luck with Korainians we actually want to glow with,” I admitted. My arm slipped from around Thaya as she repositioned and kneeled beside me. She held my chin — and made my grey eyes, meet her grey eyes.

“You have had ample time to think,” Thaya said. “Do you have an answer to my—”

“No,” I answered without hesitation.

Thaya lifted a brow.

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain,” I continued, giving her time to catch up with me. “I called you out, called you mean, and you asked if I would prefer you pretty and approachable. But you are pretty. Your eyes, your smile. You dress well, your nails are done, your hair is sliced to a point, your skin is insanely smooth. And you are approachable. You smile just enough, giggle just right. You know how to act like the pretty, approachable girl. But that’s not who you are. And that’s not what I want.”

Thaya kept her eyes on mine. Patiently. She was waiting for me to go on. To set the pace. To cross that line for the both of us. “I think you’re a little ashamed of being from the colonies. I think you’re worried finding your Soulmate is gonna be twice as hard for you than for a pretty, approachable girl from The Mainland. So you can get a little mean, a little jealous. But you don’t need to be. Now that I’ve seen you, the real you, it’s made me realise. Everyone I’ve ever tested my luck with, they were practically girls. But you? You’re a whole woman. And I wanna test my luck with a woman like you.”

Thaya rose out of her kneel and swiftly kicked a leg over me, her hands moving so fluidly I barely saw her dress come off from over her head. “Take off your trousers,” she said. I obeyed instantly, fingers fumbling with the buckle. Before I could fully pull down my silk shorts, she straddled me, aligning us with precision. I barely had time to catch up.

The second we connected, a sound escaped me. Raw. I’d never made it before. And whatever Thaya did next, it kept coming out of me, again and again. “Oh my stars!” I yelled out, not even trying to control myself. Thaya grabbed my hands and placed them to her chest. “Woah!” I said, shocked as she bent towards me and started groaning in my ear. I felt her, everywhere — and I lost it. All sense of time escaped me.

I moved with her so quickly it made me dizzy. She kissed me — and when I remembered I could do that, I kissed her too. Her neck. Her ear. She moaned my name so loud, I couldn’t believe how it sounded — I never wanted anyone else to say my name again. I was totally alert. Totally alarmed. A shot of adrenaline hit me, and I knew I had moments before I crossed the finish line.

“Are you ready?” Thaya grunted.

“Yes! Yeah!” I yelled.

And then we both,

And it was so,

And I was,

Entirely,

Done.

“Oh my — blowhole stars!” Thaya spat.

“What?” I murmured, my eyes barely opening.

“My hair is not glowing!” she grunted. “My stupid hair is not glowing!”

I lifted my head just enough to see her — still on top of me, leaning back, gripping strands of her pretty blonde hair. Her pretty, blonde, non-glowing hair. No celestial shimmer. No sign from The Universe above. Just another no-glow.

My head fell back on the pillow like I’d been shot. I felt Thaya move off of me, and I felt bare. Embarrassed, I reached to pull my silk undershorts back up. I sighed deep, trying to catch my breath. Then I let it all out, in a huff. Here I was, again. At the end of the timer. I’d crossed the finish line and fallen flat on my face.

“Well, this sucks,” I sighed. “I was really, really, hoping for it this time.”

“Me also,” I heard Thaya reply.

A sudden rustling made me lift my head. My eyes widened as they found Thaya, already halfway dressed, moving too fast for my grey eyes to meet hers. She hurried through the intimacy suite, reclothing herself so swiftly, it was like watching a quick-change performer.

“Hey, Thaya? Where you going?” I breathed, still catching my breath from what had just happened. Then hadn’t.

“You are not my Soulmate, Dahved,” she said with a shrug. “I have to keep looking.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I get that,” I replied, sitting up. “But, right now? We’ve got this room until tomorrow, hibernation isn’t for hours so why not—”

“Why not, what, Dahved?” Thaya snapped. Her voice sharp. Cold. Distant, even though we had just been so close. “It is like you said at the cookout, we must keep moving. This illusion will end, regardless of how we feel. You are a man I have enjoyed myself with, but it is best we do not encourage any more feeling. You were right about me. I am mean. Do not make me be mean to you. I ask only that you respect my commitment to finding my Soulmate. I would like for us to end things amicably. I assume you want the same?”

Thaya stared at me, but when my grey eyes met hers it wasn’t the same. Everything about her felt different. Her posture, her tone, even the light in her eyes. Thaya had shifted on me. Again. It took that final time for me to realise, I had no idea who Thaya was. All I knew for certain, was that she never stopped watching the clock. Even in the moments I did.

But now that our timer had hit zero, did that really mean we had to reset the countdown? Was there no chance for extra-time? I’d moved on from no-glows before without a second thought. ‘The Universe hadn’t made me lucky,’ I had always assumed, never really questioning what that meant. But now I wondered, was it true that The Universe only gave us what we believed we deserved? Was it possible Thaya really thought I was unworthy of her?

“Thaya,” I started to say, totally exposing myself; “I get that we’re not Soulmates. But I don’t think the last few days we spent together were an illusion? I like you. Even now. Even after the no-glow. I know what I said at the cookout, but, if you like me too, maybe we could be each other’s fling and—”

“Dahved, no,” she interrupted, firmly. “I am from the Colonies. Do you know what happens to colony new-adults without Mainland Soulmates? They get sent back. I do not have time to waste with flings. I have a cycle, at most, and I already spent an eight with you. If you do not possess whatever is needed to make me glow then, I am sorry, but I have no use for you.”

“Ouch,” I said without meaning to. Feeling it, like being punched in the chest. “So you only tested me cos you were hoping if we glowed, you’d become a Mainlander?”

“Yes, Dahved,” Thaya sighed, seeming relieved to admit it.

“So you don’t see any potential in us? At all?”

“Beyond your glowing capabilities?” she shook her head. “I cannot.”

“Wow,” I whispered. Then nodded, slowly.

With the clock at zero, it finally sank in. I finally got why ‘testing my luck’ had never worked out. Intimacy wasn’t a final lap. A last hurdle. Intimacy wasn’t a test. Getting to know a Korainian, finding a Soulmate, wasn’t something that could be rushed along some imaginary countdown.

All the tactics. Everything I’d done to increase my chances? None of it mattered. As a kid, I had the right idea. Take my time. Make intimacy, meaningful. It was so obvious now, but the reason I was always nervous was because I was worried I didn’t deserve love. That if I gave a Korainian too much time, they might change their mind about me.

But that wasn’t the right way to look at it. I didn’t need to prove I was worthy of love. I already was. I just had to meet someone who would truly, love me back. It wasn’t about testing my luck at all. It was about trying, failing, learning, taking my time, until someone out there became my one.

“Sorry I couldn’t make you glow, Thaya,” I said at last, sitting up on the bed. “I guess, when it comes down to it, we both rushed into this. We haven’t met each other’s families. I don’t even know where you live in The Mainland! So, of course you don’t see any potential in us. Even if it was an intense eight days, it was still eight days. If that’s enough time for you to know — then I respect it. I disagree, but I respect it.”

Thaya turned. Her grey eyes met mine, and she tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Do you regret it?” she asked. “Testing your luck with me, that is.”

I gave her a sad smile. “I wish I hadn’t left it to luck at all.”

She nodded, and smiled sadly too. “As you Mainlanders say, this sucks.” I laughed at her joke. So did she. And for one last moment, she captivated me. “I suppose this is farewell,” Thaya said, once our laughter faded. She picked up her clutch, stepped toward the exit, then paused at the threshold. “I wouldn’t usually give this courtesy,” she said, voice a little softer now. “But since you’ve been kind to me, I will return the favour.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What’s the kindness?”

Thaya looked back, her grey gaze surprisingly nervous. “If your friend Teo also fails tonight… I will be pursuing him. I ask that you do not speak badly of me. I am only trying to find my Soulmate.”

I lifted a brow. Then chuckled. “Teo, huh? Typical. That guy can catch female attention without even casting a line.”

“Ha!” Thaya burst out laughing, a snort this time. Her face scrunched up, un-pretty in the most endearing way. “Apologies,” she said through her laughter. “Fishing-related humour is my weak spot. My brother is the funniest Korainian I know. You reminded me of him.”

“Well then,” I grinned, “that makes my whole night worthwhile.”

She gave me a one-shoulder shrug — cute as ever — then turned on her heels and slapped the door’s release pad. She waved, and I waved back, right up until the door slid shut. I collapsed back onto the wobbling waterbed with a big huff. “Look on the bright side, man,” I muttered to myself. “Half off a night’s stay, and a huge bed to yourself!”

I rolled onto my side. My eyes landed on the control pad tucked into the headboard. I tapped the screen and scrolled through the in-room dining menu. The sheer number of dishes surprised me, but with my loyalty-disk savings, and the timer ticking in my head officially retired for good, I shrugged and pressed the dial button.

“Hello, you’ve reached Dani at the front desk,” a voice called out.

“Heya Dani,” I replied, “I think I’d like to get something for myself. But I’ve never done this before, so it might take me a sec.”

“That’s all good,” Dani replied. “In your own time.”